From Pleasure Seeker to Consent Alchemist: My Journey with DC Cuddle Club

May I tell you a brief story about how I became the (self-proclaimed) DC Cuddle Ambassador?

When I began my journey to become a Somatic Sexologist (aka the Pleasure Facilitator I am today), I started by learning EroSomatic Touch and Sexological Bodywork the Amina Method way. Completing an erotic touch program, knowing I eventually wanted to be a Sex Coach, left me craving more skills to navigate the steps between someone's initial interest in my work and them being face down on my massage table, with me guiding them through a deeply intimate touch experience. Becoming a coach was my goal, but I didn’t have the skillset yet.

Fast forward to completing my second certification as a Sex Doula and Intimacy guide, circling back to audit the training I had completed, and then assisting and co-facilitating touch training. Although I was helping to teach touch in the technical sense, I still desired more time with clients before reaching the erotic touch part of our working relationship.

To be transparent, navigating someone through an erotic experience with care and responsibility stirred fears within me. I allowed the combination of my fears, a whirlwind of distractions—including a pandemic—to prevent valuable practice with potential clients.

Enter CuddleSage, a promising addition at the Institute spearheaded by some of my cuddly colleagues. I thought it would fill the missing link between the initial intake and the eventual erotic touch. Little did I know, CuddleSage would take me on a journey to understand and embody authentic consent, introducing platonic touch to my skill set. I would be navigating the same needs and desires of my clients, but leading even deeper deeper discussions about boundaries and how to effectively communicate those needs and desires long before we would arrive at erotic touch. The concept that we have the right to ask for touch outside the confines of sex and partnered intimacy resonated deeply with me—a concept I felt destined to champion.

The inception of DC Cuddle Club stemmed from a business challenge - I needed clients to kickstart my journey as a professional cuddler. However, I doubted that my target demographic (Black, Femme, and Queer folks of the DMV) had a tangible reference point for what I had to offer. Driven by this business necessity and a desire to establish a reference point for my unique service, DC Cuddle Club was born.

I hosted the first event on National Cuddle Up Day, January 6, 2023, hoping to host periodic events to generate leads and perhaps inspire attendees to connect with each other. What transpired exceeded my expectations; DC Cuddle Club transformed into a Community, Connection, and Consent incubator—a space redefining these elements in a group setting.

Expanding beyond my initial CuddleSage training and the satisfaction derived from hosting successful events, integrating powerful consent frameworks into my toolkit through the School of Consent drastically altered my perception of my work. Platonic touch was what drew in community but consent was the true heartbeat of this work. In truth, consent emerged as the pivotal tool I had been seeking on this journey—authentic, embodied consent!

This revelation prompted my written confession:

I, Jax, lure people to DC Cuddle Club monthly under the guise of learning and expressing through platonic touch. This marketing is only a half-truth. I, Jax, am actually slinging, selling, and sipping the kool-aid that is consent—sharing what it is, how to express it, and how it has the power to change every aspect of our lives.

I can engage in this meaningful work because my journey is fueled by gratitude for the love and support flowing from the DC Cuddle Club community. With a whole year of shared experiences under our belt, I'm eager to celebrate our collective resilience. Together, we've navigated last-minute venue changes, rainy rooftop nights, and an ever-evolving, tumultuous world surrounding us. Amidst it all, we've committed to coming together in love and rest while prioritizing community, connection and consent. I’m proud of us and I promise to keep showing up if you do💜

With Pleasure and Authentic Consent,

Jax